So before my first movie review, I thought that an explanation of
my review system would be useful before y'all see my first score. I will review
all movies on a 0-10 scale with 0 being death on screen and 10 being the
greatest movies of all time. The structure is loosely based on IGN's
game review structure so creds to them. And here it is...
10 – Heaven on a Screen
The Pantheon of Movies. A masterpiece that is not necessarily flawless, but it is so terrific that it is not much else that could have been done. It is a movie that will without a doubt survive the test of time and will be classic in no time.
The Pantheon of Movies. A masterpiece that is not necessarily flawless, but it is so terrific that it is not much else that could have been done. It is a movie that will without a doubt survive the test of time and will be classic in no time.
Example: The Godfather, Star Wars V, The Good, the
Bad, and the Ugly, Raiders of the Lost Ark
9 – Awesomeness in a Can
A movie that is movie of the year material hands down and could stand toe to toe with the greatest movies of all time. However the few flaws the movie has keep it from being in the pantheon of movies.
A movie that is movie of the year material hands down and could stand toe to toe with the greatest movies of all time. However the few flaws the movie has keep it from being in the pantheon of movies.
Example: The Dark Knight, The Avengers, Hangover,
Inception, TDKR
8 – Great Stuff Bro
A very good movie that most people will enjoy watching and while it might not be the best in theaters, it's worth your time (and money).
A very good movie that most people will enjoy watching and while it might not be the best in theaters, it's worth your time (and money).
Example: Iron Man 2, The Other Guys, Unknown
7 – Good Game…I mean movie
While there are some prevalent issues, the overall experience is still good enough to recommend. A little to clichéd and repetitive at times but overall is still enjoyable.
While there are some prevalent issues, the overall experience is still good enough to recommend. A little to clichéd and repetitive at times but overall is still enjoyable.
Example: Rush Hour, Man of the Year
6 – Ok Man
In one word; passable. Ok. No more. No less.
In one word; passable. Ok. No more. No less.
Example: Blades of Glory, Scott Pilgrim vs the World
5 – Not Ok Bub
There are a handful of good things about it, but the numerous negatives out way what little good there is. Wait until it is out on HBO.
There are a handful of good things about it, but the numerous negatives out way what little good there is. Wait until it is out on HBO.
Example: Total Recall (2012)
4 – Bad apple
A movie that has too many negative qualities but has some good diamonds layered amongst crap.
A movie that has too many negative qualities but has some good diamonds layered amongst crap.
Example: Star Wars II (Attack of the Clones), Land of
the Lost
3- A worse purse
Simply put a bad and awful idea out of the gate. You might enjoy two maybe three scenes in the movie. Overall it is an idea that should have been rejected.
Simply put a bad and awful idea out of the gate. You might enjoy two maybe three scenes in the movie. Overall it is an idea that should have been rejected.
Example: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter , New Years
Eve, Any parody movies (i.e-Scary Movie series)
2- Stepping on a Lego
It hurts to watch this. No amount of popcorn and coke could make it any better. A good movie to make fun of, which is the only quality that keeps it from the bowels of movie hell.
It hurts to watch this. No amount of popcorn and coke could make it any better. A good movie to make fun of, which is the only quality that keeps it from the bowels of movie hell.
Example: Magruber. The Last Airbender
0/1 – RUN AWAY/THE DEATH OF MOVIES
A movie that is hands down terrible and should never be seen anywhere any time. It is a movie the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 team could ‘rift’ with no problems.
A movie that is hands down terrible and should never be seen anywhere any time. It is a movie the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 team could ‘rift’ with no problems.
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